By Shelton Bumgarner
Let me being by saying not only am I sorry for making people upset by writing Somehow and using their names, I’m sorry in advance for adding insult to injury by giving it to Three Wise Monkeys to publish…again. I don’t regret doing it, but I am sorry if it only compounds the problems associated with Somehow.
Having said all that, let me make some observations.
No one has taken me up on my offer to give a personal apology via email, phone, or Skype. No one has told me what I lied about in Somehow. No one has taken me up on my offer to work with them to re-write Somehow to make it better.
No one. Zip. Zilch. Nada.
That silence means something. If what I wrote was so full of lies, I think someone would have taken it upon themselves to tell me what I lied about. And…yet…no one has. So, I think we can safely conclude that I did not lie. I told the truth to the best of my ability.
Now, let’s talk about something even more interesting — the ultimate fate of the story itself. I want to the story of Somehow to be turned into a movie. I have a little bit of delusional paranoia right now that Stephen King might be working on a novel or a screenplay that is loosely based on the events found in Somehow, but that’s just more something I worry about in the back of my mind because of some clues as to who is looking at Nori Magazine. I have no proof beyond a little bit of evidence that someone who lives in the same place he does, is looking at Nori Magazine. That’s all I got. I could mean nothing. Even if he is looking at Nori Magazine, it doesn’t mean he’s actually actively doing anything with the story of ROKon Magazine.
But the point of all this is — it is within the realm of possibility that now that the story of ROKon Magazine is out there, floating around, that someone, somewhere with some connection to Hollywood might take me up on my idea and actually do something with it. There is the chance, however small, that I am going to make everyone involved with the magazine that I mentioned in Somehow, well, famous. And if you’re famous you’re going to fucking get laid. So, shut up about how angry you are at me. Calm down and reflect on that fact — I just might make you famous. You just might have something cool happen to you because of the very thing you’re so upset about right now.
My Web stats show that traffic from South Korea has dwindled down to virtually nothing, so even expats in South Korea apparently don’t even care about Somehow anymore. Yes, they might get riled up again if Three Wise Monkeys publishes it to an even broader audience, but it seems as though I’ve pissed off people to the fullest extent possible and things are going to slowly die down now.
That’s my hope, at least.
All I want is the story of ROKon Magazine to be known by as many people as possible.
It’s a great story and I believe it’d make a great movie, given the opportunity.